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Thursday, October 2, 2008

Debate & Switch: A Palin v. Biden Preview

Are you going to watch the VP debate in order to learn about the candidates, or in order to see just how stupid Sarah Palin actually is and how badly Joe Biden can blow a perfect opportunity? Why has politics turned into a Real World/Road Rules challenge? Would the debate get better ratings if Biden was debating William Hung? How would Hung fair against the Alaska governor (no flutes allowed)?

The answer to all these questions is kill me.

In anticipation of tonight's sad entertainment (no, not The Joe Girardi Show on the YES Network), here's a quick run down of what we're all in store for:

mentions "diplomacy": 4

mentions "killing Bin Laden": 1

mentions "justice": 0



mentions "The Bridge to Nowhere": 1

begins sentences to nowhere: 16

mentions "hardworking Americans": 6



refers to various dark-skinned foreigners as "terrorists": 4

praises Israel: 2

scratches crotch/picks wedgie: 3



mentions "victory in Iraq": 5

refers to various dark-skinned foreigners as "terrorists," "evil-doers," "bad guys," and/or "people who wish us harm": 8

says that she'll "sure up" the economy: 3



repeats lie about Russia attacking Georgia: 2

stares in disbelief at his opponent's idiocy: 4

makes off-color, racist joke: 57



mentions "strong fundamentals": 2

mentions, but doesn't elaborate on, reform: 7

brings up freedom or 9/11: 9



lies about totally legal Iranian nuclear program: 2

lauds his own "good judgment": 4

mentions his affinity for Steeley Dan: 1



mentions Vladmir Putin (rearing head, optional): 2

is bewildered by straight-forward question and/or passes out: 24

says "Osama" instead of "Obama" accidentally on purpose: 1

1 comment:

  1. Nima ShiraziOctober 10, 2008 at 11:15 AM

    I forgot to post this earlier, but here's the final tally based on the VP debate.

    BIDEN

    "diplomacy" - 3
    "killing Bin Lade" - 1
    "justice" - 0
    "terrorists" - 3 (w/ 2 other semi-mentions)
    "praising Israel" - 2
    "Russian attack on Georgia" - 0
    "a dangerous nuclear Iran" - 1
    "judgment" - 2
    "9/11" - 1
    "Bridge to Nowhere" - 1

    PALIN

    "Bridge to Nowhere" - 0
    "sentences to nowhere" - 57
    "hardworking Americans" - 0 (although Joe Six Pack was mentioned, does he count?)
    "victory/winning" - 6
    "terrorists, etc..." - 2
    "shoring up the economy" - 0
    "getting the economy back on track" - 1
    "strong fundamentals" - 1
    "reform" - 13
    "freedom" - 5
    "Putin's rearing head" - 0 (sadly)
    "confusing Obama with Osama" - 0*



    *FOOTNOTE: Whereas Sarah Palin didn't call Obama "Osama" by "mistake," she did one better by calling her debate opponent "Senator O'Biden."

    I guess I underestimated her this time. Kudos.

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